Everywhere I go, in every moment, the ongoing mantra in my mind is the 4 graces of Ho’oponopono – I am sorry, I love you, Please forgive me, Thank you.
What I have come to realize is that my life is transforming miraculously as a result. Whatever situation, whomever/whatever is in my field of observation, whatever thought or sensation which is in my present awareness, I am constantly reconciling, acknowledging, forgiving, and integrating.
The miracle, to me, is, that each moment I live is a lesson, a gift, an opportunity to love myself even more; to reconcile with the parts of myself that have been forgotten, disassociated, unloved….my shadows.
Recently, I received an email from a blessed man in Poughkeepsie NY. The gist of the email was this man’s need to communicate his fears, disillusionment, and anger over my Shamanic workshops, and that I ought to realize that whatever I am offering to the world is a lie, deceitful, and intentionally misleading; further, that I am a thief. He insisted that I become a skeptic of this way of life, as he is.
When I received this email, I took a deep breath in and let it wash over me. I felt the hot anger, I felt the ‘knives’ of pain touching all the places that responded to the words ‘thief’ ‘false’ ‘liar’ ‘deceiver’. I kept breathing into those places and let the pain build. I then recited the 4 graces until the sensation shifted.
Then I responded, telling this wonderful man that yes, I have been a thief in my life (I have at various times stolen/shoplifted when I was living in scarcity), and yes, I have lied in my life (too many times to count), yes, I can see many times in my past when I have intentionally deceived others,yes, in the past I have been false.
It didn’t (and doesn’t) matter to me that this man knew nothing of my work, my history, or of me personally. It didn’t matter to me that the contexts were entirely different. This beautiful human being was asking me to be present to the part of myself that I have kept hidden and in the shadows. I gratefully obliged.
I also realized that in his pain of having experienced deceit in his life, having experienced theft, that he was simply asking SOMEONE to take responsibility for it. Again, I obliged, with the intention that, as human beings, we are all One. Why shouldn’t I take responsibility. I have no idea what I have done in this life or any other which may have supported or caused this injury in him. At that moment, it didn’t matter to me. I simply took responsibility, and with the 4 graces, I acknowledged the injury and asked forgiveness. I then let it go to the Universe.
The ecstasy that filled me was so overwhelming, I cried. I felt this huge release…this part of me that had been acknowledged, forgiven, and loved was definitely ready to be integrated, and it had provided me with so much learning.
When he wrote back, in an entirely unexpected outcome, he had softened considerably…though his opinion of my work had not changed -which is as it should be, it is not my intention to impress my Shamanic life choices upon him for validation/invalidation. It felt to me very much that we were able to connect together as human beings. This was such a joyful moment, because to invite us both into a human embrace to experience oneness was my intention.
I am so grateful to this man. He was moved to show me this shadow of myself, and he took the time to do so. Wherever you are, G. C. from Poughkeepsie; thank you.