As part of my integrated Ho'oponopono practice, I have learned to shift inner dialogue from the critical view which compares my experience with the past and programming to a perspective of radical responsibility.
In this practice, I ask myself these questions:
What am I really feeling?
What are my thoughts here...am I staying within or distracting myself from the true feeling?
Are my thoughts true, are they congruent with my purpose in service?
If I feel defensive, what is the source of my fear?
And the mantra: I am responsible for this perspective.
And the response: I am sorry, I love you, please forgive me, thank you.
And then, I ask myself 'what would love do?'
....this before I even speak.