Shiva /Shakti in Vukovar Croatia
I was recently in Croatia to facilitate Quantum Shamanic Transformation, Level 1. When I landed in Zagreb, I was still utterly ignorant as to what had taken place in the early 1990s in the former Yugoslavia, even though I read as much as I could on the history. I will admit I am still really confused as to what prompted this nation to implode with a bloody war and then to separate along state/cultural lines.
My friend Manuela, who lives in Zagreb, told me that she didn't understand the conflict either. Others that I met while over there also expressed their confusion. Another - Mila - told me that people at that time were forced to choose religious alliance, even if they were not practicing any religion. She explained how families had been torn apart along religious and cultural lines.
This was not long ago - not even 20 years ago.
One of the days that I was in Croatia, we drove from Zagreb to Vukovar - (translates as 'City of Wolves', so I was told). Vukovar is known as the place where a genocidal massacre happened in November of 1991. Those killed were mostly Croats. I became aware of the Shiva experience of Croatia - Vukovar itself was nearly destroyed in that war. As I walked down the streets nearly 20 years later, The many old stone buildings were shells that once were homes and businesses. The roads had many scars from bombs going off....it was surreal. I have never witnessed anything like that in my life. There was also a sadness, a tension I could feel in the air. There was palpable electricity. And also Hope.
We went down to the Danube river, where, on the opposite bank, was Serbia. I took off my shoes, and stood in the Danube, playing my drum. I let the waves of emotion flow through me - the internal war. The part of me that hates me with great prejudice and no sense of reason...and with each breath, I owned that war, I forgave it, I loved it, I thanked it for everything I learned from it and for the peace that I was now experiencing.
I still don't understand what happened in the former Yugoslavia. I am sure it is a different history depending on who is being asked. I am not sure I am meant to understand it. What I do know, what I am sure of, is how I have contributed. I have also hated - myself and others - in my past. I have also dehumanized myself and others in my life based on my irrational beliefs and fears. I have also destroyed with intention.
I did notice that within these shelled-out buildings in Vukovar city there was wild growth - trees, flowers, plants....the earth was reclaiming this destruction..,life from death. And I did feel reborn after my 'baptism' in the Danube. This was the promise of Shakti, of Mother Earth. I could feel this life growing inside me too...in my heart.
Thank you, Croatia. Thank you, Danube. Thank you Vukovar.